The overriding emotion is love
Date of news/blog: 13th August 2026When Debbie and Shelley talk about their mum, Brenda Brigginshaw, the overriding emotion is love. They talk about a woman who built her life around her family, who shared more than six decades with the man she adored and who has always been happiest when surrounded by the people, animals and familiar routines that made life feel full.
For her daughters, telling Brenda’s story is a way of remembering the whole person, not just the mum they have cared for, but the young woman who left school and went straight into work, the wife who was rarely apart from her childhood sweetheart Bill, the mum who filled their childhood with warmth and the grandmother and great-grandmother whose presence remains at the heart of the family.
Early years
Brenda was born on Christmas Eve in 1936 in Hemel Hempstead, growing up in Hertfordshire at a time when the area still had a rural feel. She left school at 15 and went straight into work at a bank, something she remained proud of all her life. Debbie and Shelley remember how important that independence was to her and how unusual it felt at the time that their mum was sent to London on a residential training course almost immediately after leaving school.
“She was always very proud of that,” they say. “She finished school one day and the next day she was off training.”
But the great love story of Brenda’s life began even earlier. She met Bill when they were both young, and they began “courting” when Brenda was just 13. Brenda and Bill married when she was 19 and went on to spend more than 60 years together. Their daughters describe them as completely devoted to one another.
“They basically never did anything apart,” Debbie and Shelley recall.
“When Dad died, it was the first time mum had ever had to sleep on her own. She had gone from her family home, sharing a bed with her sister, to being married and living with Dad. They were totally devoted.”
Bill passed away in 2012, and although the loss was immense, Brenda carried on with the strength her family had always known in her.
A move to the country
Brenda and Bill built their family life in Hemel Hempstead, raising four children – Paul, Jane, Debbie and Shelley. After Paul was born, Brenda left work to focus on family life, later returning part-time in a building society.
As Hemel Hempstead grew busier, Brenda and Bill began to dream of a quieter life in the countryside. They had always loved Herefordshire and imagined retiring there one day. In the mid-1980s, after a house move elsewhere fell through, they came to Hereford for a holiday and found an old parsonage in a village.
It was a bold decision, but one that suited them perfectly. Within six weeks they had moved. Bill, an electrical engineer by trade, followed his passion and became a gardener, while the couple renovated the parsonage and later ran a bed and breakfast from their home.
When retirement came, they moved again, this time to a barn conversion, continuing the country life they had hoped for together.
Family at the heart of everything
Family has always been central to Brenda’s life. She is mum to four children, grandmother to two grandchildren and great-grandmother to one great-grandchild. Debbie and Shelley speak warmly of a childhood filled with animals, family routines and the close bond their parents shared.
After Bill’s death, Brenda remained with her family. For nine years, Debbie and Shelley shared their home with their mum, selling their own houses so they could buy a larger property where Brenda could live with them.
As Brenda’s health needs increased, however, the family reached the painful point many families recognise – wanting with all their hearts to keep caring for someone at home, while slowly realising that love alone could no longer keep her safe.
Brenda was living with dementia, but at the time her daughters say the main concern was her mobility. She was experiencing regular mini strokes and increasingly needed to use a wheelchair. Debbie and Shelley knew they could no longer safely manage her care at home.
Finding Brockington House
Like many families, Debbie and Shelley had tried to keep Brenda at home for as long as possible. When the time came to find residential care, it was not a decision made lightly. It carried all the worry, guilt and hope that come with trusting someone else to care for a much-loved parent. Brenda first moved into another home in Hereford, but it soon became clear that it was not the right fit for her.
“We were never happy when she was there, and neither was mum,” Debbie and Shelley say. “It was more worry her being in the home than it was when she was living with us.”
When they decided Brenda needed to move, Brockington House Care Community was the first place they looked at. They had considered Brockington House before, but at that time the timing had not worked out.
“Within five minutes we knew it was the right home for her,” they say.
“It was just a totally different atmosphere. We had always thought a bigger home would be less personal and less family-like, but Brockington suited her perfectly.”
For Debbie and Shelley, the layout and atmosphere made an immediate difference. They felt the separate areas gave it a warm, homely feel and, more importantly, they sensed that Brenda would be safe, comfortable and supported.
Brenda moved into Brockington House at the end of January 2025 and her daughters say the change has brought peace of mind for the whole family.
“Since she has been there, she has been so much more settled and comfortable,” they say. “We finally feel as though she is safe and we know she is in the best place she possibly could be.”
Involved in daily life
One of the things Debbie and Shelley most appreciate is how involved Brenda has become in daily life at Brockington House. They had not expected her to take part in so much, but she now enjoys the activities and joins in with what is happening around her.
“She thoroughly enjoys all the activities,” they say. “She takes part in everything, which we didn’t expect, but she loves it.”
There is also a very special visitor who has become part of the home’s life Debbie’s dog, Parsnip. Brenda had always lived with pets and animals, and after she moved into care, Debbie began taking Parsnip in to visit her.
Encouraged by the team at Brockington House, Debbie had Parsnip assessed as a Pets As Therapy (PAT) dog. Parsnip now visits regularly, bringing comfort, conversation and memories to the ladies and gentlemen who have often had beloved dogs and pets of their own.
“It’s amazing watching her with them,” Debbie says. “They all respond to her, and it’s lovely to see how much they appreciate her coming in. They reminisce about their dogs and we talk about all the different dogs people have had. When I go in now without Parsnip, the first thing they ask is where she is!”
For Debbie and Shelley, choosing Brockington House was not simply about finding care. It was about finding somewhere their mum could still be herself.
“We are very happy with how Mum is being cared for,” Debbie and Shelley say. “We think she is content now.”